When I incorporated Action Lab For Development in Canada as an extra-provincial corporation – meaning it is a company originating from Cameroon and focused on advancing education, food security, and advocacy – I questioned myself: what education would I be advancing in such an advanced country? Although I hold academic qualifications that were assessed and made equivalent to Canadian standards by the Canadian government, I still wondered if I had enough knowledge to contribute to education here. My initial thoughts were perhaps I should pursue further education.
While searching
for a survival job and posting an ad written with the language of an
entrepreneur, my wording quickly caught the attention of a Canadian
entrepreneur. He called me and introduced me to his entrepreneurial pursuits: a
residence construction company and an accounting firm. Douglas, as he is
called, offered to teach me everything he knew, eventually showing me how to
file my own taxes as an entrepreneur and explaining the advantages of this
knowledge. After learning this for a few months, I realized that I had gained
something valuable that I could also teach others in Canada. I thought to
myself, "Wow!"
Coming from the
crisis region of northwest Cameroon, where I understood the deep grievances of
my people, I found myself grappling with conflicting truths. While I
sympathized with the cause, I was also taught about son-ship and brotherhood,
concepts that aren’t open to negotiation. This made it hard for me to choose a
side. My friends in Bamenda affectionately called me Minister Tchiroma, and
they seemed to appreciate that I understood the causes of the crisis – perhaps
because I had been raised alongside a great historian.
One of my closest
friends, Tata (or Shey), who owned a local bar nicknamed "House of
Commons," where most discussions about current events took place, was the
first person to report me to the boys in the bushes. This event – which is
another story for another time – ultimately led me to meet a psychotherapist
here in Canada, Simran Aurora. After six sessions, I began to realize that I
had knowledge that could contribute to advancing the Canadian perspective. I
hope that people like Simran and others in social work will help my
organization develop a policy paper to address the chronic issue of mental
health in this country, which I believe is a problem that God has called me to
understand and help solve in this country.
Below, I share
just one of the many issues I hope to address in Canada:
“Short-term
gain through using others leads to long-term pain, emotional numbness, and
loneliness.” Invest in relationships, not manipulation.
I learned using
others for short-term gain may make you feel powerful temporarily, but it
inevitably leads to long-term pain and emotional numbness. Manipulating people
damages your emotions, fosters shallow relationships, and leaves you isolated.
Over time, this cycle makes you more dependent on others, trapped in a web of
lies and fake connections. The brief satisfaction of controlling others is soon
replaced by emptiness and frustration.
The damage goes
beyond personal unhappiness. Manipulating others erodes your integrity, trust,
and reputation. People will begin to notice the harm you're causing and
distance themselves. This can lead to emotional isolation, leaving you without
genuine connections. You may even deceive others about the people you've used,
all in the search for external validation. This focus on external approval or
laws stunts your personal growth and keeps you emotionally stagnant.
If you recognize
that you’ve been using others for personal gain, it's time to stop. Take a
moment for self-reflection, practice kindness, and invest in building honest,
meaningful relationships. Only through these connections can you achieve true
happiness and self-worth.
Let’s prioritize
building genuine relationships, invest in mental health, and work together to
create lasting change. Join us in advancing education, well-being, and a
stronger, more connected community. Visit us at https://www.actlabs4dev.org/ or call us at (825) 963-0203 to get involved.
